I saw a couple of guys that I found handsome, but had no nerve to go talk to them. And maybe my straight forward attitude of just saying "hello, how are you?" is not what people are expecting. Or is it my expectation that I think they expect some witty line from me? I also seem to have a "no tolerance for bullshit" mind-set that doesn't help. And I don't play games! The last guy I dated wouldn't come to my place, it was "too far" but he asked 'why didn't I go up to his place?' Jimmy don't play that game!
And I don't feel comfortable going up to a guy in a group of friends. It's interesting to see how someone acts with their friends, but I really don't want to interrupt a conversation.
And then I don't want to meet some guy and then ask him out only to hear " I don't think that my boyfriend/husband would like that." Gay men seem to wear a lot of jewelry and one can never really tell if someone is taken, there could or could not be a wedding/committment ring! I'm so cornfused!
Any help or suggestions would be appreciated!
3 comments:
I met my partner at a bar. I walked in and saw him across the room. I walked right up to him and said "I saw you when I walked in. My name is Al. I think you're very handsome and I like your smile. If you'd like to talk, I'm over there with a friend. Feel free to join us."
I had never done anything quite like that before, and I'm very glad I did. Sometimes direct, when combined with comfort and self confidence, is all that is needed.
I think the forward approach, Hey, I am....., " is refreshingly great. Just do it.
It's a great way to make some friends for conversation. That's the place to start.
Unfortunately, I have no any practicable ideas. But to be indicative of your thoughts, there are lots of moments in my life that make me remember when I was a kid, and I saw someone else, most probably a fellow kid, and thought to myself ‘I wish I could be like her/him’.
There is a man here, let’s not name him. Or maybe we will, once we have his permission to do so, hahaha. He is everything I could be and a whole lot more. Child-like... not afraid of being over friendly for fear of getting hurt! He gets close to people really easily, cares for them like they were born together and would go to lengths for them. Sometimes he gets hurt too when he trusts people he was better off not being around in the first place, and even then he is so innocent as to continue caring for them and forgiving them when what they actually need, is a boot on the butt and getting quarantined for being hurtful buggers.
I was very expressive of my first affection for people as well, enough to got me into trouble at times. I thought I learned to judge whom I could trust for the first time, and whom I could not, saving me the trouble of having to find out the hard way. But I lost the quality of being interested in everything related to everyone I knew when I distanced myself for FEAR OF... Knowing nothing, knowing too much... I do not know. I lost being able to believe even in ‘shallow friendships’, as had been my credo. (Was that really growing up I did?!)
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